Where's the road going?
My son, Lian is 2 and a half. He has developed the adorable, but dreaded habit of imitating everything I do, and repeating everything I say. Some of my worst behaviours I hoped no one would ever see, are now suddenly at risk of being painted onto this little talking, walking canvas. Fortunately, I'm apparently not just a raving lunatic, as I also see him imitating love and affection, good manners like please and thank you, and saying sorry.
When I look at what might have been painted onto my children's little canvases today, I feel a bit ashamed at how much irritability and frustration I used as paint. I have been reading a book by Julie Ann Barnhill entitled She's gonna blow - real help for mom's dealing with anger. If it sounds a bit desperate, that's how it is. When you give up all privicy and the right to your own time, personal space, and any hopes of ever having a normal bathroom routine again, you tend to become crabby, to say the least. I realize that I don't have to parent in this enmeshed style, but that's what came naturally, and I'm a firm believer in the"whatever gets you through the day" philosophy. Seeing how impressionable my children are, has however made me stop and think about many things, including boundaries between parents and kids, disciplinary boundaries for parents and kids, and most prominently, spiritual discipline imparted from parents to kids.
I have been involved in church activities since my teenage years, and practically grew up in the church listening to my parents sing at band practice or in a Sunday service. Many very beautiful things in my life I can ascribe wholly to this. Unfortunately, I also inherited a whole lot of religious baggage because of this. The past four years has been a process of being stripped of all ambitions I ever had of "going into ministry" "leading worship" or in short, doing churchy kind of things that have no substance if Christ is not the sustaining factor.
I don't mean that Jesus' name must be in the songs I sing, or that I should consult Him about where I could park on a busy day at the mall. I mean that Christ should be the only motivation, the only focus, the only factor in my life that holds me together, that shapes my thinking, that influences descisions I make when acting out in front of my children, when caring for my family, when living life where it matters, in my home with my spouse and kids.
My eye fell on a church magazine today, it happened to be the church I attended for almost 9 years, in which I served and lead worship on a few occasions, and in which I realized that the religious systems of man are bound to fail, and that Christ remains our only inheritance worth imparting to future generations. I was excited by the verse quoted on the cover:
Romans 8:19 For even the whole creation (all nature) waits expectantly and longs earnestly for God's sons to be made known (waits for the revealing, the disclosing of their sonship) ...
This concept, namely sonship, has intrigued me for the past 4 years, has changed everything I believed about God, church, our purpose on earth. It is the essence of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. When God introduced to us the concept of sonship, he did it in the flesh, by sending His only begotten son to demonstrate that the faculties of God can dwell in man. His power, His authority, His love, His kindness, His gentleness, His wrath, all He is was in Jesus.
(Col 1:15 Now He is the exact likeness of the unseen God (the visible representation of the invisible); He is the firstborn of all creation.
The rest of the chapter (Collosians 1) goes on to say that we have been reconciled to God through the death of Jesus, and that he is able to present us holy and faultless and irreproachable in the Father's presence. I always took this to mean that I can relax about messing up, because Jesus covers all my blemishes, all my bloopers. While I believe in the infinite grace of God and His forgiving heart, I have come to the conclusion that this is a misrepresentation of the scripture. The next verse goes on to support what I propose.
Col 1:23 This he will do provided that you continue to stay with and in the faith in Christ, well-grounded and settled and steadfast, not shifting or moving away from the hope (which rests on an is inspired by) the glad tidings (the Gospel), which you heard and which has been preached (as being designed for and offered without restrictions) to every person under heaven, and of which I, Paul became a minister.
You see, faith in Christ, is believing in His redemptive work, yes. But it is more than that. Ch 2:3 says that "In Him all the treasure of divine wisdom (comprehensive insight into the ways and purposes of God) and (all the riches of spiritual) knowledge and enlightenment are stored up an lie hidden.
So what is the essence of the wisdom, knowledge and enlightenment we so seek that will change our conduct forever? It is Christ in us, the hope of Glory. (Col 1:27)
You see, today I realized that I can trust God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit to protect my children from my wrongdoings and mistakes, in my own life and toward them. But I also realized that my shortcomings make them sad, hurt them, and make me sad and hurt me. I don't want to act out toward them, because the road that it will paint for them is one of human error. I want their canvas to be painted with Godly Perfection. Sound ambitious? Well if I do not hold fast to the faith in Christ, it propably is. But if I hold fast to the faith in Christ, it's not ambition, it's faith. I believe that God has the power to reproduce Christ in me. That means that I can have perfect self-control, perfect love, perfect gentleness, perfect patience, perfect authority over all my fleshly faculties. I can have it. That is how God will reproduce Christ in me. And Heb 4:14-16 says that Jesus ever lives as my high priest to intercede for me, and that I can find grace on days like today when my less than perfect behaviour marrs the vision. But I can find help at the throne, and keep on pressing toward my goal. My goal is Christ perfected in me, revealed in me. My goal is my sonship disclosed. It is a partnership between me and the Holy Spirit, who leads me into all truth. He does the work in me, and I keep on believing that he will present me faultless before the presence of His glory. I believe, and He changes me into the image of His Son. His job is to change me, my job is to keep on believing that He can change me, perfect me, and to make my descisions accordingly. It is the mark of the lamb: on my forehead (how I think) and on my hand (how I act). The mark of the antichrist is man completely controlled by his own desire. It is the mark of the beast: on his forehead (how he thinks) and on his hand (how he acts).
So I end off with the words of a song I wrote 10 years ago, which has only come alive to me today. The goal is not heaven, the goal is being perfected in Christ. And if all this happens to be a mistaken assumption on my part, well, then I'll die believing that I can try to be perfected. At least that way my children are more likely to be painted with attempts at perfection in Christ, rather than me completely controlled by my own fleshly nature.
Even though, sometimes I can't see where I'm walking
and I simply have to follow where you lead me
my heart will never turn away from trusting in you,
for Your faithfulness is all, I ever need
This road of faith is all I'm walking
My heart is set on you, Oh God
I walk by faith, and not by what I see
Oh what a beautiful journey
In the valley where I cannot see the mountain
on the Mountain, where my sorrow turns to fountains of joy,
I will drink from the healing stream, that flows from Your throne,
and Follow as my Shepherd leads me home
This road of faith is all I'm walking
My heart delights in you, Oh God
I live to see Your power changing me
Oh, what a beautiful journey
Though this Road is not an easy one, there's a
race that I must run,
So I'll journey through the darkest night
just to see the Son
This road of faith is all I'm walking
My heart belongs to you, Oh God
I live to see Your power changing me
Until Your Glory comes, and I look like Your Son
Oh, what a beautiful journey
When I look at what might have been painted onto my children's little canvases today, I feel a bit ashamed at how much irritability and frustration I used as paint. I have been reading a book by Julie Ann Barnhill entitled She's gonna blow - real help for mom's dealing with anger. If it sounds a bit desperate, that's how it is. When you give up all privicy and the right to your own time, personal space, and any hopes of ever having a normal bathroom routine again, you tend to become crabby, to say the least. I realize that I don't have to parent in this enmeshed style, but that's what came naturally, and I'm a firm believer in the"whatever gets you through the day" philosophy. Seeing how impressionable my children are, has however made me stop and think about many things, including boundaries between parents and kids, disciplinary boundaries for parents and kids, and most prominently, spiritual discipline imparted from parents to kids.
I have been involved in church activities since my teenage years, and practically grew up in the church listening to my parents sing at band practice or in a Sunday service. Many very beautiful things in my life I can ascribe wholly to this. Unfortunately, I also inherited a whole lot of religious baggage because of this. The past four years has been a process of being stripped of all ambitions I ever had of "going into ministry" "leading worship" or in short, doing churchy kind of things that have no substance if Christ is not the sustaining factor.
I don't mean that Jesus' name must be in the songs I sing, or that I should consult Him about where I could park on a busy day at the mall. I mean that Christ should be the only motivation, the only focus, the only factor in my life that holds me together, that shapes my thinking, that influences descisions I make when acting out in front of my children, when caring for my family, when living life where it matters, in my home with my spouse and kids.
My eye fell on a church magazine today, it happened to be the church I attended for almost 9 years, in which I served and lead worship on a few occasions, and in which I realized that the religious systems of man are bound to fail, and that Christ remains our only inheritance worth imparting to future generations. I was excited by the verse quoted on the cover:
Romans 8:19 For even the whole creation (all nature) waits expectantly and longs earnestly for God's sons to be made known (waits for the revealing, the disclosing of their sonship) ...
This concept, namely sonship, has intrigued me for the past 4 years, has changed everything I believed about God, church, our purpose on earth. It is the essence of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. When God introduced to us the concept of sonship, he did it in the flesh, by sending His only begotten son to demonstrate that the faculties of God can dwell in man. His power, His authority, His love, His kindness, His gentleness, His wrath, all He is was in Jesus.
(Col 1:15 Now He is the exact likeness of the unseen God (the visible representation of the invisible); He is the firstborn of all creation.
The rest of the chapter (Collosians 1) goes on to say that we have been reconciled to God through the death of Jesus, and that he is able to present us holy and faultless and irreproachable in the Father's presence. I always took this to mean that I can relax about messing up, because Jesus covers all my blemishes, all my bloopers. While I believe in the infinite grace of God and His forgiving heart, I have come to the conclusion that this is a misrepresentation of the scripture. The next verse goes on to support what I propose.
Col 1:23 This he will do provided that you continue to stay with and in the faith in Christ, well-grounded and settled and steadfast, not shifting or moving away from the hope (which rests on an is inspired by) the glad tidings (the Gospel), which you heard and which has been preached (as being designed for and offered without restrictions) to every person under heaven, and of which I, Paul became a minister.
You see, faith in Christ, is believing in His redemptive work, yes. But it is more than that. Ch 2:3 says that "In Him all the treasure of divine wisdom (comprehensive insight into the ways and purposes of God) and (all the riches of spiritual) knowledge and enlightenment are stored up an lie hidden.
So what is the essence of the wisdom, knowledge and enlightenment we so seek that will change our conduct forever? It is Christ in us, the hope of Glory. (Col 1:27)
You see, today I realized that I can trust God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit to protect my children from my wrongdoings and mistakes, in my own life and toward them. But I also realized that my shortcomings make them sad, hurt them, and make me sad and hurt me. I don't want to act out toward them, because the road that it will paint for them is one of human error. I want their canvas to be painted with Godly Perfection. Sound ambitious? Well if I do not hold fast to the faith in Christ, it propably is. But if I hold fast to the faith in Christ, it's not ambition, it's faith. I believe that God has the power to reproduce Christ in me. That means that I can have perfect self-control, perfect love, perfect gentleness, perfect patience, perfect authority over all my fleshly faculties. I can have it. That is how God will reproduce Christ in me. And Heb 4:14-16 says that Jesus ever lives as my high priest to intercede for me, and that I can find grace on days like today when my less than perfect behaviour marrs the vision. But I can find help at the throne, and keep on pressing toward my goal. My goal is Christ perfected in me, revealed in me. My goal is my sonship disclosed. It is a partnership between me and the Holy Spirit, who leads me into all truth. He does the work in me, and I keep on believing that he will present me faultless before the presence of His glory. I believe, and He changes me into the image of His Son. His job is to change me, my job is to keep on believing that He can change me, perfect me, and to make my descisions accordingly. It is the mark of the lamb: on my forehead (how I think) and on my hand (how I act). The mark of the antichrist is man completely controlled by his own desire. It is the mark of the beast: on his forehead (how he thinks) and on his hand (how he acts).
So I end off with the words of a song I wrote 10 years ago, which has only come alive to me today. The goal is not heaven, the goal is being perfected in Christ. And if all this happens to be a mistaken assumption on my part, well, then I'll die believing that I can try to be perfected. At least that way my children are more likely to be painted with attempts at perfection in Christ, rather than me completely controlled by my own fleshly nature.
Even though, sometimes I can't see where I'm walking
and I simply have to follow where you lead me
my heart will never turn away from trusting in you,
for Your faithfulness is all, I ever need
This road of faith is all I'm walking
My heart is set on you, Oh God
I walk by faith, and not by what I see
Oh what a beautiful journey
In the valley where I cannot see the mountain
on the Mountain, where my sorrow turns to fountains of joy,
I will drink from the healing stream, that flows from Your throne,
and Follow as my Shepherd leads me home
This road of faith is all I'm walking
My heart delights in you, Oh God
I live to see Your power changing me
Oh, what a beautiful journey
Though this Road is not an easy one, there's a
race that I must run,
So I'll journey through the darkest night
just to see the Son
This road of faith is all I'm walking
My heart belongs to you, Oh God
I live to see Your power changing me
Until Your Glory comes, and I look like Your Son
Oh, what a beautiful journey
Comments
Jesus was made flesh. It is a mystery. Your post provokes me. Thank you.